#101 When Is Violence Cute?

Not long ago Brecken and I were playing with Jack. He happens to be completely adorable. Being thus overcome by his baby-charm Brecken exclaimed in her high-pitched, mock baby voice, "Oh! You're so cute! I just want to rip your arms off and punch you in the face!"

Ummmm. Yes. I was dumbfounded. Horror struck, really. But her explanation pacified me. Apparently phrases like, "You're so cute I could eat you up, " and, "I just want to pinch your cheeks," when taken literally, have a violent tenor to them. So the assumption was: the more violent the phrase--the cuter the baby. If I had a Cute/Disturbing Things blog, I would post it there. But as I do get a slight chuckle out of this... I'll post it here.

#100 Granola Bars

For a little while I thought post Number 100 would have to be something big; I gave up on that idea. Mildly cute will do.

Taylor came in the kitchen today and asked for a, "Gorilla Bar." A big, fuzzy feeling filled my heart thinking of how cute that is to me. It was followed by a slight twinge of guilt that I refuse to teach her the correct term (going so far as to prohibit Brecken from correcting her also). Even Hallie, the three year old, can at least call it a "Granilla Bar." Which is perhaps why I am clinging to the cuteness of "Gorilla." I hope she never learns :)


After consideration, maybe when she's fifteen I'll want her calling it a "granola bar."

#99 Popping

In our house we are pretty discrete when it comes to discussing the passing of gas. I know, several readers will be rolling their eyes right now--feel free. But because of the lack of vocabulary in this department (we simply call it, "passing gas" or every once in a while you might hear the word, "stinker") it was adorably funny to me when I picked Hallie up--her bodily functions overtook her--and she laughed then said, "I popped!"

It's much cuter to let them come up with their own terms ;) I'm rather fond of, "popped," but strictly as a term--not as a verb.

#98 The Truth About Sharing

It's no secret that when children spend prolonged amounts of time together, it becomes difficult to maintain steady feelings of love and harmony; such was the case when we had the cousins over. Just before bedtime love and harmony were nowhere to be found. To restore such feelings I mandated that we would play "Say Something Nice Spin the Bottle." The rules were simple: You spin the bottle--it points to someone--you say something nice about them.

It was James' turn and the bottle he spun pointed to Hallie. So he said what the four previous children had said about each other, "Ummmm.... she's cute," long pause, "she's nice," another pause, "and she shares."

Hallie retorted in a sour tone, "Pfff. I don't share."

Oh, Hallie.

#97 Playing Doctor

My nephew, James, was given a little bag from Primary Children's Hospital filled with little things he can play with while his baby brother is receiving care. Most of the items were hospital related--doctor's gloves, doctor's hat, gauze, a hospital tube--but there were also a few play things--a little doll, a toy gun--things of this sort.

I happened to glance at Taylor wearing the doctor's hat and gloves and James laying on the couch playing the role of "patient." I began loading the dishwasher and was listening to, rather than watching them play. I heard this:

"Yep. Okay... Hmmm. Let me check this. Good, good. Let me see here," there was a long pause. "Well, I'm sorry, but it seems you still have a bit of a fever." And here I happened to glance over. Taylor was pointing the gun at James' face. James looked natural and resigned.

I was filled with three emotions: Shock, horror, and an immense feeling of hilarity. I have no idea who introduced Taylor to the philosophy, "If you can't cure 'em, kill em," but we'll be having a little chat.

#96 Words I'll Miss

A few weeks ago Hallie came to me and said, "Mama! Guess what I can say!!! YOgurt." This was simultaneously cute and sad to me. She used to call it "lo-gut."It has given me cause to reflect on some of the words that I don't get to hear any more.

"Biss-team" instead of "Ice cream"

"Biss-mallow" instead of "Marshmallow"

"Biss-oach"instead of "Cockroach" 

(come to think of it, I think her fall back for anything unpronounceable was "biss")

"Monkey" instead of "Brecken"

The predictable "Basghetti" instead of "Spaghetti"

"Planno" instead of "Piano"
"Bomana" instead of "Banana"
"Lellow" instead of "Yellow"

And a personal favorite: When Hallie spins she isn't "dizzy" she is "busy."

Ah, the good old days. But as Hallie learns to say things the right way, Jack is learning just to say things. I can't wait for a whole new slue of mispronounced words. 

#95 My Foot

This one is cute to us--the Harringtons--and probably only us. But upon recalling it (it happened about a year and a half ago) I wanted to jot it down, just to have it always.

Hallie (almost two at the time) was tough to get to bed--sheesh, they all were--but Hallie especially. One night the girls had all gone down for the night (or so we thought) when Russ and I sat on the couch to vege. Sitting on the couch afforded us a clear view of Hallie's door. After about ten minutes of bed-time-silence we noticed a foot protruding out from underneath Hallie's bedroom door. Still silence.

Every minute or so the foot would eek out further and further, but still she kept quiet. Finally, after about the seventh minute, a faint voice from behind the door said, "Uh see my foot?" and then a little more loudly but barely over a whisper, "Uh see my foot?" She repeated the phrase several times until finally Russ was overcome with the cuteness and responded. To this day Russ will occasionally look at me and say, "Uh see my foot?"

#94 UnCute

This is one sentence I never want to hear again:

"Aunt Reni, everyone downstairs decided it would be fun to hold the eggs, and so they did, and some of them dropped, and it got all over the floor, and Jack likes playing with it because he likes to get it on his jammies."

I'm thinking once in a lifetime. Right?

#93 Sandwich

"Hallie, what kind of sandwich do you want for lunch today?"

After a long pause, "Ice cream."

Yeah. That'd be nice, kid.

#92 Rock, Paper, Scissors

The girls have gotten into playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with me. Taylor plopped on the couch next to me and commenced a round (which usually lasts 15 or 20 games). It wasn't until round ten that I noticed she had played scissors—every time. I had to ask, "Taylor, are you choosing scissors every time?"

Nonchalantly she responded, "Yeah. Brecken said they're my lucky ones."

"Did Brecken win every time?"

She paused and said slowly, "Yeah..."

I then heard Brecken chuckling in the background. The kind of chuckle that says, "Oh yeah. I just manipulated my four-year-old sister into losing round after round of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors.' I. Am. Good."

#91 Our Own Tom Sawyer

Me: Alright, Brecken. Time to clean your bedroom.
Brecken: (in a complaining moan) Oh, man! (shoulders slump)
          (enter Taylor and Hallie)
Brecken: (happily now) Guess what, Taylor?! I get to clean our room!
Taylor: (suspiciously eyeing Brecken) Oh.
Brecken: (still enthusiastic) Hey, Hallie! Guess what I get to do? I get to clean our room!
          (Hallie and Taylor look at each other and scurry off... as do I)

Five minutes later...

Brecken: Nope, just one of you.
Taylor: Please, please me?
Hallie: I want to!!!
Brecken: Hmmmm.... let me think...
Taylor: I can do it the bestest ever!
Hallie: I want to!!!!
Brecken: Okay, I'll make a deal. You both can help me clean my room.
          (squeals of elation. From all three)

I've gotta give it to her, she's good. She is really good.

#90 Rollie-Pollies

All three girls love spring time, the blossoms, inviting weather, catching butterflies, and discovering lady bugs and rollie-pollies. The first of the season are especially exciting. I love their enthusiasm for it all. It's almost... magical. On such a spring day I watched and heard Hallie exclaim:

"Brecken! Tay! Look!!! A rollie-pollie!!!! Awe..."

(pause--crouch to admire)

*stomp* (Yes. On the rollie-pollie)

It's almost magical. If that would have been two-year old Brecken, or Little Tay-Rae, I would have been shocked--dumb-founded--in disbelief. But for some reason, watching Hallie obliterate the little rollie-pollie seemed... natural.

#89 The Phone Call

I called someone recently. I typically call her cell. Perhaps that is why the conversation went as it did when I dialed her landline.

small child: Hello?
Me: Hi, this is Serenity. Is your mom there?
small child: Yes.
Me: (after a small pause) Can I talk to her?
small child: No. She's upstairs.
Me: (after a myriad of thoughts and conjectures) Oh, can she not talk on the phone when she's upstairs?
small child: No, she can.
Me: Okay... Could you go get her?
small child: No. I can't.
Me: Oh, how come?
small child: The phone is stuck to the wall.
Me: (immediately enlightened) Oh! Okay. Well can you set the phone down and go and tell her I'm on the phone?
small child: Set the phone down?
Me: (encouragingly)  Uh-huh.
small child: (silence)  
Me: (silence)
*hang-up-click*

Landlines. Kids these days. The two don't mix well. I laughed. And then called her cell phone.

#88 Potato--Tomato

When Taylor was three she could not say, "Tomato." It came out every time, without fail, "Potato."

It was occasionally funny to hear her ask to get the "potato" out of her salad. And it brought a smile as she talked about dipping her grilled cheese in her red "potato" soup.

 But cutest of all was when she would quote MegaMind (which she did often):

"Oh, potato--potato--potato--potato!"

I still think of it. And it still brings a smile to my face :)

#87 Lip Gloss

Me: (walking into bedroom--Hallie on my dresser, admiring puckered lips in mirror) Hallie, what are you doing?
Hallie: (freezes) Nothing.
Me: What's on your lips?
Hallie: (examines mirror) Oh. Um... pff (chuckle) nothing.
Me: Hallie, I can see the lip gloss on your lips.
Hallie: (reexamines mirror and realizes it's obvious) Oh. Yeah. I got lip gloss because... my lips were cold. So... yeah. (in a serious tone) My lips were cold.

Despite the fact that she's gotten quite good at applying it (enlarging her lips by no more than a quarter inch) it's still a no-no. But if her lips are cold... I make exceptions. And then I laugh.

#86 Christmas Songs 2012

For those of you who remember  #69 The First Noel, I think I am seeing a trend: Christmas song lyrics. I don't know what it is about them, but they are high on the misinterpretation list:

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas:

Original: Oh, ho, the mistletoe--hung where you can see!
Harrington sung: Oh, ho, the mistletoe--Hungry as can be! (Both girls)

Angels We Have Heard On High:

Original: Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria! In excelsis Deo!
Harrington sung: Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria! In a stable go-o. (Taylor)

Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful:

Original: Oh, come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant!
Harrington sung: Oh, come, all ye faithful, joyful and obnoxious! (Brecken)

Honestly I don't know where the last one came from. Two sizable words, both definitions unknown, same number of syllables: it could happen to anyone I guess.

Looking forward to 2013 :)

#85 Tacos

Why do I find the following conversation with my two-year-old so adorable? I don't know. Probably because she's two. And she has a cute voice. And none of these words came out the way the English language intended them. This is the translated version:

Hallie: I want dinner.
Me: What do you want to eat?
Hallie: Dinner.
Me: Do you want a taco?
Hallie:What's a taco?
Me: It's a tortilla, with meat, and cheese, and lettuce, and tomatoes, and--
Hallie: (cutting me off) I don't like tomatoes!
Me: Okay. You don't have to have tomatoes.
Hallie: Tomatoes are yucky.
Me: Okay.
Hallie: Brecken likes tomatoes?
Me: MmmHmm.
Hallie: And daddy?
Me: Yep. Do you want a taco?
Hallie: Olives?
Me: The olives are all gone.
Hallie: We have some more.
Me: Nope. We ate them all with our tacos already.
Hallie: Did I eat them?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Daddy?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Mama?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Brecken?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Tay?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Dallie? (the neighbor girl across the street)
Me: No. Not Dallie.
Hallie: Oh (laugh and shoulder shrug). Just Daddy and Mama and Brecken and Tay and me?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: (another chuckle) Oh.
Me: Do you want a taco with meat and cheese?
Hallie: I don't want meat! I don't like it. It's yucky.
Me: Well, what do you want on it the taco?!
Hallie: Cheese and tomato.
Me: You don't like tomatoes!
Hallie: Yeah!

Yep. No killer punchline. Just the adorable essence of my sweet little two-year-old.

#84 Ummm... Gross

When is it cute for a two year old to say, "Eese essa nass issa boogie," ? (Translation: something, something ...it's a boogie.)

After she comes up and does an odd sort of pat-swipe on your head.... And then about two hours after that--when you're done being grossed out.

#83 Lately

We had in our possession a "Mr. Wonderful" doll. For those who don't know what that is, you push his hand and he says all kinds of wonderful things most wives only dream of hearing. For example, "The ball game isn't really that important. I'd rather spend time with you!" and so on and so forth.

He happens to be the same size and of similar make as a Cinderella doll we have. Taylor had been on a kick of playing with the two of them as sweet hearts (in a very cute and innocent four-year-old way). While observing her I found it odd that she kept referring to Cinderella as "Lately." For example she would say (in her man-ish voice), "Oh, Lately, I love your hair," and, "Your dress is so beautiful, Lately," and "Lately... Where are you Lately?" She's come up with odd names before so initially I chalked it up to that. Until she pressed the hand of Mr. Wonderful. She's done it dozens of times, and I've heard it before, but this time when I heard Mr. Wonderful say:

"Have I told you I love you lately?"

It all made sense.

#82 A Few Weeks

Me: Taylor, can you bring me the wipes from your room?
Taylor: Yeah, hold on. In a few weeks.

Either she doesn't grasp the concept of time, or she's paying me back for all of my replies to her, "When are we going to Grandma's house?" and "When's my birthday?" and "When is Halloween?"
"In a few weeks," just isn't good enough.