#55 States and Teachers

While putting together a puzzle of the Unites States, I would say the name of the state, Brecken would find the puzzle piece, and we would put it in together.

Me: Ok, Brecken... let's find... Mississippi.

Brecken: What?! The teacher?

Me: The teacher?

Brecken: (very matter-of-factly) Yeah, Mrs. Sippi is a teacher.

Me: You know a teacher named Mrs. Sippi?

Brecken: No, but her name is Mrs... She has to be a teacher.

5 year old logic. I don't think that thought ever crossed my head. But, yep, it makes sense to me :)

#54 The Correct Pronunciation of Teeth

This one I am borrowing from my nephew who was spending the afternoon at our house. You know those kids who could probably sell their voices because they are so adorable with all of their cute little speech impediments? He's one of them.

Jackson: Aunt Wen (trying to call me Aunt Ren here) wanna thee my tooth that I lof-th-t?

Me: (examining the new hole in his smile) Wow, Jackson! That's pretty cool. You know, Brecken hasn't ever lost any teeth.

Jackson: (in a condescending tone that would suggest "you poor, unintelligent adult") You mean... toof-ths?

Oh, what was I thinking? Did I say teeth? How could I make such a blunder?! I forgot I was conversing with a four year old.

#53 Spiders with Huge Legs

Brecken: (dramatically) ... And then, this spider with huge legs started crawling on her shoulder and we all started screaming!

Me: (a bit overboard on the dramatization myself) Oh no! was it... a daddy long leg?!

Brecken: (raises one eyebrow, obviously disgusted with my choice of wording) No mom. It was a daddy huge legs.

#52 Catched

Of course all kids make errors in grammar. It's expected. And of course all dutiful parents try to teach and correct. On one such occasion after throwing something to Breck...

Brecken: Ha! I catched-ed it!!

Me and Russ: (Silent chuckle)

Russ: (step in dutiful parent) Brecken, the correct way to say that is catched, not catched-ed.

Oh, that cute guy of mine! I think I may start a Cute Things Russ blog :) Maybe it went over your heads, but most people (adults anyway) use the correct term: caught :) Love you babe!

#51 Sooo Smart

If there is anything Brecken lacks, it is NOT confidence. At least every day I hear "I am so smart." (probably because at least every day I say it) But her reasoning for being so smart is what makes me laugh some times....

Brecken: Mom. I told Taylor yes means yes. And no means no. And maybe means maybe.

Me: Ok. Thank you (I couldn't come up with any other response).

Brecken: Wait! Do those things mean what I said they mean??

Me: You mean, like (yes I said like), yes means yes?

Brecken: Yeah. Do they?

Me: Yes.

Brecken: Haha! How did I know that?? I am soooo smart.

Haha, I would love to read a dictionary compiled this way...

Monoamine: (noun) Means monoamine. (wow. I'm so smart.)

#50 Little Sayings

Little Miss Smarty Pants this morning walked to the fridge after breakfast and stated "I'm gonna check on the pamerika." Yes, you read that right, and yes I heard it right, and yes I was as much in the dark as you. Of course I asked her to repeat herself and she so matter of factly said "The pamerika. I'm going to check on the pamerika and see how it's doing."

Ok. It clicked. Her and Russ had made tapioca the night before and left in the fridge to cool... this is what she called "pamerika" I had to laugh, and it brought to mind a few other quirks in her vocabulary...

With Brecken, it isn't a heart-beat, it's a heart-beep.

Anything with "ul" turns into "li" for example

Ambulance=Amblience

Fabulous=Fablious

Turbulence=Turblience

No matter how often we go over it, she doesn't need anything, she meeds things.

When feeling especially grateful she will thank me in spanish... sort of... with a very gringa "Glacias!"

And her quirky way of asking questions. It's never "What does (fill in the blank) mean?" It's always "What means (fill in the blank)?"

I know there are a dozen others, but this is what comes to mind. The little cutie.

#49 Smile Dad!

I am sure Russ wouldn't mind me sharing this. Especially since he's the one who told me (through a little laughter I might add).

During the nightly teeth-brushing routine (daddy happened to be doing the brushing)...

Brecken: Dad, look in the mirror

Russ: (stops what he is doing and looks in the mirror)

Brecken: Smile.

Russ: (thinking perhaps she may have seen food in his teeth, begins examining)

Brecken: You look like a beaver. Your front two teeth are big.

Awe, don't kids just say the darndest things? Gotta love their brutal honesty (unless it's with strangers... then it's just plain old embarrassing). But with Russ as good looking as he is, I'm sure there will be no complex whatsoever.

#48 Sorry for the Mess

One night we had some of Brecken's friends over, and by the end of the night every toy that we own was strewn through the house. Regardless, we went to bed knowing full well we would wake to a mess. In the morning Brecken and I were sitting amidst the toys and Brecken, very sympathetically, said...

"Mom, I sure am sorry about this mess!"

Sweet, right? But before I could say anything she continued even more sympathetically than before...

"I am so sorry it's so big that I am not going to clean it up." And then she gave me a look filled with pity and patted me.

Oh... and she did clean it up. Sweet girl. And she didn't even complain.

#47 Almost My Birthday

I love mornings. I love it because Brecken always comes in jabbering, and I get to see what random thought is floating in her head when she wakes up. This particular morning her thoughts were of her birthday.

Brecken: (all smiles) Guess what mommy!!! It's almost my birthday!!

Me: I know! It's coming up.

Brecken: How many more days?

Me: Ummm... it's about sixty.

Brecken: (smiles gone, frown set in and in dismay) What?? SIXTY?? That's not almost my birthday!!! I CAN'T EVEN COUNT TO SIXTY!!!!

I think I ruined her morning. But no worries. Now she asks in weeks. She can count those.

#46 Counting Problems

Brecken: Momma, how old do I have to be to drive?

Me: Sixteen.

Now whenever I tell Brecken a number, she has to gauge how far away it is by counting to it... of course she's no pro at counting and her defect is she always skips... 16 and 17.

Brecken: Sixteen?

Me: Yep

Brecken: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 20 (continues in perfect sequence)... 37, 38, 39... HOW old do I have to be?

Me: Sixteen.

Brecken: (takes deep breath) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 20 (continues once again in perfect sequence to 39, and then stops) Wow! I have to be really old to drive!!

Of course I helped her really count to sixteen... It's just cute to see her try :)

#45 Can You Sing?

Brecken: Momma, can you sing?

Me: MmmmHmmm

Brecken: Let me hear you.

Me: (begin humming some little tune)

Brecken: No. Can you sing pretty??

Me: (ok, so my little tune wasn't cutting it.... belting out now like Aurora from Sleeping Beauty) AAAAHHH AAAHHHH AHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Brecken: (cuts me off just as I'm getting going) No. I mean can you sing pretty. Like me.

Ok, world. I failed as a singer. Apparently I don't hold a candle to my four year old. My cute, little, vain four year old.

#44 Heavenly Clothes

Brecken: I love my outfit.

Me: It's pretty cute.

Brecken: Did Heavenly Father create it?

Me: Well, he didn't make the clothes, but he created what the clothes were made out of.

Brecken: (in total shock) What?? Heavenly Father didn't create clothes?? Who makes clothes????!!!!???

Apparently Brecken thought that the clothing industry had direct connections with Heaven. Who else could create such fashions as polka-dotted skirts, striped shirts, and neon colored leggings?

#43 Knock Knock

Ok, this one actually happened a few months ago, I just keep forgetting to put it up. And this may be one where the phrase "you woulda had to been there" may apply. Mainly because it was a conversation between Brecken and her little cousin, Jackson, whose voice alone is so cute you could record it and sell it (but you can't quite capture it just through writing).

Brecken: Jackson do you wanna hear a joke.

Jackson: MmmHmmm.

Brecken: Knock Knock.

Jackson: Whooth der?

Brecken: Microwave.

Jackson: Microwave who?

Brecken: Microwave Fridge.

Both: BAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!HAHAHA!!!

Jackson: (through much laughter) Now YATS a YOKE!!!

#42 Baby in Two Days

Brecken: I am so excited for the baby in your tummy to come!!

Me: Yep, but it's gonna take a while.

Brecken: How long?

Me: Well, six more months.

Brecken: (excitedly) That's not long at all!!

Me: Well, one month is thirty days...

Brecken: (concerned now) How long is six months??

Me: Well, six months is about 180 days.

Brecken: That's a long time!!!

Me: Well it takes a long time for the baby to grow big enough (cut off)

Brecken: (very urgently) Can I say a prayer???

Me: (when would I ever say no to that, really) Sure.

Brecken: Dear Heavenly Father, thankful for this day. Please bless the baby to grow fast. Please help it to grow big enough in two days. (and then she closed her prayer)

Aren't you so excited?? The baby is going to be here in two days!!!!!!

You know, that last few weeks of pregnancy I really wish it worked like that... but for now... I'm glad it's not up to the whim of a four year old.

#41 Big Belly

Me: Brecken, guess what! Mommy and daddy are gonna have another baby. There's a baby in my tummy.

(now you have to realize... this is day one of finding out... you know, when you look exactly the same as you did before there was any baby news)

Brecken: (stares at my tummy) No you're not. (continues staring) Oh wait. Yes you are. I can see the big bump in your tummy.

Nope. That's just the stuff that always hangs over the jeans a bit... ah, thanks Breck.

Oh and then one week later

Brecken: (again staring at my stomache) Wow, mommy. The baby in your tummy is getting really big!

Nope again. That was just the sausage, eggs, pancakes, fruit, drink etc. etc. I had for breakfast. Yep it was good.

#40 Beautiful Clothes

Brecken picked out my birthday present all by herself this year. A necklace. Very sweet. So yesterday I thought I'd put it on to show her how much I love it (i've worn it several times I promise)

Brecken: Oh mom, your necklace is so lovely!

Me: Thank you hon!

Brecken: (looks me up and down) Ummm.... do you think you could put on some beautiful clothes to wear with it?

Me: Well, I thought my clothes were pretty.

Brecken: (gives me a polite, but disapproving half smile) Well... your shirt is ok... but your pants are not beautiful. Come into your closet. I'll pick something out for you.

Something is wrong with this picture. Since when do four year olds feel the need to advise their mothers on their wardrobe?? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

#39 Comfy Bottom

I walked in upon one of the sweetest scenes for a mom to behold. Brecken and Taylor were both laying down on my bed. Brecken on my pillow, and Taylor using Brecken's stomach for a pillow. Upon seeing me Taylor sat up and Brecken rolled on to her stomach.

Brecken: Taylor, I want you to lay down on me!

Me: Sweety you rolled over, I don't think she'd want to lay on your back.

Brecken: Not my back. She can lay on my comfy bottom.

Hahaha! Who told her she has a comfy bottom?? Well at least she took it as a compliment. And if she concluded it on her own... At least she's proud of a little junk in the trunk :)

#38 Grandma Good

For my birthday this year my family consorted behind my back to surprise me with a visit. To ensure that I (and my house) would at least be presentable when they arrived, Russ told me that his mom would be stopping by some time that evening.

Brecken was also made aware and was excitedly awaiting Grandma Good. Much to all of our surprise it was not Grandma Good but Grandma Allen. Squeals form Brecken erupted. After about twenty minutes the excitement had somewhat dulled and Brecken started looking around...

Brecken: Wait. When's Grandma Good coming over?

Russ: Honey, she's not. Grandma Allen came instead.

Brecken: (shoulders slump) But I thought Grandma Good was coming!

Ah, little children. I have a feeling that if we told Brecken we were going swimming and we ended up in Disneyland, she'd look around and say "But where's the pool?"

#37 His Bare Hands

While Brecken and I were watching Mountain of the Lord one of the lines was "...with his bare hands..." to which Brecken excitedly says:

"His bear hands?? He has bear hands!?! Did you hear him mom? That guy has bear hands! Just like bears! Bears have bear hands too!!!"

#36 Sally

This is not an announcement. I am not expecting a baby. Regardless of this, Brecken feels an obligation to discuss names with me.

"Mom" she says. "I hope that the next time you have a baby it's a girl." Since Russ (I thought) had convinced her to lobby for a boy (not that it really makes a difference) I was a little surprised. "Why do you want a girl?" I asked her. "Because if we have a girl, I want to name her Sally."

Ok, that's cute and all, but I am not going to be naming my baby Sally, so I didn't want to get any hopes up here. So this is how I proceed (very sweetly I might add):

"Oh, that's cute, Breck. But we probably aren't going to name our girl Sally." Brecken, almost crying: "But I like Sally. I want it to be Sally!" And then a ten minute discussion proceeds, I tell her she can name her baby doll Sally, yada yada yada. And I thought it was resolved.

A month later Brecken has been working on her sales pitch. Have I mentioned Russ is in Sales? Well Brecken gets her manipulative sales skills from him.

Brecken: (holding a baby doll) Look at my pretty baby. I named her Sally.
Me: Oooh, what a pretty baby.
Brecken: Her name is Sally.
Me: Oh, how cute.
Brecken: Cute?
Me: Yes. It's very cute.
Brecken: So you like my baby doll's name?
Me: (Like I'm gonna say no) Yes. She's cute.
Brecken: You like the name Sally!
Me: Well- (Brecken cuts me off)
Brecken: So now, when you have a baby girl, we can name her Sally because you like the name Sally! hahahahahaha!!!! YES!

Ah. What the hay. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Let's just hope for a boy :)