#61 Mispronunciations

Taylor is now officially making it to cute things. Oh, she has always been cute, but now that she is talking (I'm using that term loosely)... She'll probably be taking over cute things soon. Now, this is probably only cute to me, because I can still hear her two-year-old, speech-impedimented little voice.

Taylor and I were in the toy room. As I was leaving, Taylor asked me if I could leave the light on... only it sounded like this:

Taylor: Wee wa wight on. K?

Me: (just encouraging correct pronunciation) Wee wa wight on?

Taylor: (thinking "slower" will solve the communication barrier) No. Wee. Wa. Wight. On.

Me: Wee wa wight on? (at this point, I was just having a little fun)

Taylor:(decides to go with the old repeat after me) No. Thay (say) Weeeeee.

Me: (mimicking her exact tone) Weeeeee.

Taylor: (long, thoughtful, seven second pause) Turn da wight on. K?

Oh, the cute, poor little girl. She realized something that day. She could not say leave the light on. Mom's probably too big a tease. I couldn't resist. But she's resilient. And just so she didn't feel like a total failure I added "Oh! did you say leave the light on?!" which was answered with peels of laughter. And, yes, I weft wa wight on.

#60 How Much Do You Love Me?

This actually took place about two years ago, and whenever I think of it, I get a little chuckle, and since I don't want to forget it... I'll jot it down here.

After I had reprimanded Brecken for something (two years is too long to remember any particulars), I wanted to be sure that she knew I still loved her. The following conversation took place in her bedroom:

Me: Brecken, you know that I love you, right?

Brecken: Yeah.

Me: Do you know how much I love you?

Brecken: Huh uh.

Me: I love you more than anything.

Brecken: (seeming unimpressed stayed silent)

Me: (realizing she's not grasping the concept of anything) I love you more than chocolate.

Brecken: (now enthused and amazed) You do?! I love you too!!! (big hug. now eager to return the compliment) I love you more than.... (looks around her room at all of her earthly possessions) more than... (still looking... aha, I can see she has settled on something) I love you more than strangers!

Wow. It was almost as though I could see her making mental notes: Let's see, more than my doll house? No. More than my stroller? No. Umm... More than my stuffed animals? No. More than my books?.... Maybe... No. Hey! I know what I love her more than! People I don't know and have never met, and therefore have no feelings for! That's a good one!

Haha, it was actually too funny to get my feelings hurt over. And she has since told me that she loves me more than movies. And that's big. So I'm good.

#59 The Smartest Girl

Knowing Brecken's vanity issues, I sometimes still make the mistake of saying "Brecken, you are just the smartest girl." Ok, it's probably a good thing to compliment your children. But sometimes it produces conversations like the following (this is between Brecken and her 5 year old cousin, Jackson):

Brecken: Jackson, guess what. I am the smartest girl in the whole world.

Jackson: Huh uh.

Brecken: Yuh huh.

Jackson: Huh uh (you have to love 5 year old comebacks).

Brecken: Yuh huh, my mom said so.

Jackson: Huh uh. Do you even know what 1 million plus 100 million is?

Brecken: (drops her jaw) No way! Do you know what it is?

Jackson: It's 2 thousand 16 hundred 3 million thousand.

Hey, I guess he figured if she didn't know... He could say whatever he wanted. Might as well make it sound good.

#58 Her Word

Brecken: Mom, can I please watch a movie?

Me: No, we already watched one today.

Brecken: Mom please, I'll be a good girl.

Me: I'm glad you'll be good, but the answer is still no.

Brecken: (solemnly) You have my word.

Me: (never hearing that from her before I can't help but chuckle out loud) I have your word that what?

Brecken: (a little frustrated) Mom. You know. You have my word.

Me: What do you think that means?

Brecken: It means, you heard my words saying that I want to watch a movie, and now you have them, so you want to do them. So now you'll let me watch a movie.

Me: (continued audible chuckling... I couldn't help it)

Boy, was that a misinterpretation! I wish we could force our will on others with only four easy words.

#57 Strange Words

While playing with a stuffed animal Brecken said to me "Mom, this is weird. One of the eyes is smooth, and the other eye is lither." She said it so matter of factly that I almost believed she knew a word I wasn't yet privy to. So I had to ask, "Smooth and what?"

"Smooth and lither." She obviously saw my confusion because she continued "You know, bumpy and... unsmooth."

Whelp. She had me there. Normally, I have a pretty good idea what the original vocabulary word is that she's revamping. When she comes running, screaming "Taylor is playing with the poop plusher!" I can connect the dots... ah! she means plunger. The gross thing we don't play with because it gets poop on it.

But lither... I'm stumped. But I think it's cute she thinks it's a word (well she did until I told her it wasn't).

#56 Bigger Than the World

While having a discussion about outer space, the stars, etc. (don't ask why)...

Brecken: (in absolute amazement) Is it bigger than the world??

Me: MmmmHmmmm.

Brecken: (in disbelief) Is it bigger than... SAINT GEORGE???!!!

Ok... maybe I was getting ahead of myself trying to teach about outer space. I think I need to get back to the basics. We'll start with our house, our street, St. George, and the world. :)

#55 States and Teachers

While putting together a puzzle of the Unites States, I would say the name of the state, Brecken would find the puzzle piece, and we would put it in together.

Me: Ok, Brecken... let's find... Mississippi.

Brecken: What?! The teacher?

Me: The teacher?

Brecken: (very matter-of-factly) Yeah, Mrs. Sippi is a teacher.

Me: You know a teacher named Mrs. Sippi?

Brecken: No, but her name is Mrs... She has to be a teacher.

5 year old logic. I don't think that thought ever crossed my head. But, yep, it makes sense to me :)

#54 The Correct Pronunciation of Teeth

This one I am borrowing from my nephew who was spending the afternoon at our house. You know those kids who could probably sell their voices because they are so adorable with all of their cute little speech impediments? He's one of them.

Jackson: Aunt Wen (trying to call me Aunt Ren here) wanna thee my tooth that I lof-th-t?

Me: (examining the new hole in his smile) Wow, Jackson! That's pretty cool. You know, Brecken hasn't ever lost any teeth.

Jackson: (in a condescending tone that would suggest "you poor, unintelligent adult") You mean... toof-ths?

Oh, what was I thinking? Did I say teeth? How could I make such a blunder?! I forgot I was conversing with a four year old.

#53 Spiders with Huge Legs

Brecken: (dramatically) ... And then, this spider with huge legs started crawling on her shoulder and we all started screaming!

Me: (a bit overboard on the dramatization myself) Oh no! was it... a daddy long leg?!

Brecken: (raises one eyebrow, obviously disgusted with my choice of wording) No mom. It was a daddy huge legs.

#52 Catched

Of course all kids make errors in grammar. It's expected. And of course all dutiful parents try to teach and correct. On one such occasion after throwing something to Breck...

Brecken: Ha! I catched-ed it!!

Me and Russ: (Silent chuckle)

Russ: (step in dutiful parent) Brecken, the correct way to say that is catched, not catched-ed.

Oh, that cute guy of mine! I think I may start a Cute Things Russ blog :) Maybe it went over your heads, but most people (adults anyway) use the correct term: caught :) Love you babe!

#51 Sooo Smart

If there is anything Brecken lacks, it is NOT confidence. At least every day I hear "I am so smart." (probably because at least every day I say it) But her reasoning for being so smart is what makes me laugh some times....

Brecken: Mom. I told Taylor yes means yes. And no means no. And maybe means maybe.

Me: Ok. Thank you (I couldn't come up with any other response).

Brecken: Wait! Do those things mean what I said they mean??

Me: You mean, like (yes I said like), yes means yes?

Brecken: Yeah. Do they?

Me: Yes.

Brecken: Haha! How did I know that?? I am soooo smart.

Haha, I would love to read a dictionary compiled this way...

Monoamine: (noun) Means monoamine. (wow. I'm so smart.)

#50 Little Sayings

Little Miss Smarty Pants this morning walked to the fridge after breakfast and stated "I'm gonna check on the pamerika." Yes, you read that right, and yes I heard it right, and yes I was as much in the dark as you. Of course I asked her to repeat herself and she so matter of factly said "The pamerika. I'm going to check on the pamerika and see how it's doing."

Ok. It clicked. Her and Russ had made tapioca the night before and left in the fridge to cool... this is what she called "pamerika" I had to laugh, and it brought to mind a few other quirks in her vocabulary...

With Brecken, it isn't a heart-beat, it's a heart-beep.

Anything with "ul" turns into "li" for example

Ambulance=Amblience

Fabulous=Fablious

Turbulence=Turblience

No matter how often we go over it, she doesn't need anything, she meeds things.

When feeling especially grateful she will thank me in spanish... sort of... with a very gringa "Glacias!"

And her quirky way of asking questions. It's never "What does (fill in the blank) mean?" It's always "What means (fill in the blank)?"

I know there are a dozen others, but this is what comes to mind. The little cutie.

#49 Smile Dad!

I am sure Russ wouldn't mind me sharing this. Especially since he's the one who told me (through a little laughter I might add).

During the nightly teeth-brushing routine (daddy happened to be doing the brushing)...

Brecken: Dad, look in the mirror

Russ: (stops what he is doing and looks in the mirror)

Brecken: Smile.

Russ: (thinking perhaps she may have seen food in his teeth, begins examining)

Brecken: You look like a beaver. Your front two teeth are big.

Awe, don't kids just say the darndest things? Gotta love their brutal honesty (unless it's with strangers... then it's just plain old embarrassing). But with Russ as good looking as he is, I'm sure there will be no complex whatsoever.

#48 Sorry for the Mess

One night we had some of Brecken's friends over, and by the end of the night every toy that we own was strewn through the house. Regardless, we went to bed knowing full well we would wake to a mess. In the morning Brecken and I were sitting amidst the toys and Brecken, very sympathetically, said...

"Mom, I sure am sorry about this mess!"

Sweet, right? But before I could say anything she continued even more sympathetically than before...

"I am so sorry it's so big that I am not going to clean it up." And then she gave me a look filled with pity and patted me.

Oh... and she did clean it up. Sweet girl. And she didn't even complain.

#47 Almost My Birthday

I love mornings. I love it because Brecken always comes in jabbering, and I get to see what random thought is floating in her head when she wakes up. This particular morning her thoughts were of her birthday.

Brecken: (all smiles) Guess what mommy!!! It's almost my birthday!!

Me: I know! It's coming up.

Brecken: How many more days?

Me: Ummm... it's about sixty.

Brecken: (smiles gone, frown set in and in dismay) What?? SIXTY?? That's not almost my birthday!!! I CAN'T EVEN COUNT TO SIXTY!!!!

I think I ruined her morning. But no worries. Now she asks in weeks. She can count those.

#46 Counting Problems

Brecken: Momma, how old do I have to be to drive?

Me: Sixteen.

Now whenever I tell Brecken a number, she has to gauge how far away it is by counting to it... of course she's no pro at counting and her defect is she always skips... 16 and 17.

Brecken: Sixteen?

Me: Yep

Brecken: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 20 (continues in perfect sequence)... 37, 38, 39... HOW old do I have to be?

Me: Sixteen.

Brecken: (takes deep breath) 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 20 (continues once again in perfect sequence to 39, and then stops) Wow! I have to be really old to drive!!

Of course I helped her really count to sixteen... It's just cute to see her try :)

#45 Can You Sing?

Brecken: Momma, can you sing?

Me: MmmmHmmm

Brecken: Let me hear you.

Me: (begin humming some little tune)

Brecken: No. Can you sing pretty??

Me: (ok, so my little tune wasn't cutting it.... belting out now like Aurora from Sleeping Beauty) AAAAHHH AAAHHHH AHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Brecken: (cuts me off just as I'm getting going) No. I mean can you sing pretty. Like me.

Ok, world. I failed as a singer. Apparently I don't hold a candle to my four year old. My cute, little, vain four year old.

#44 Heavenly Clothes

Brecken: I love my outfit.

Me: It's pretty cute.

Brecken: Did Heavenly Father create it?

Me: Well, he didn't make the clothes, but he created what the clothes were made out of.

Brecken: (in total shock) What?? Heavenly Father didn't create clothes?? Who makes clothes????!!!!???

Apparently Brecken thought that the clothing industry had direct connections with Heaven. Who else could create such fashions as polka-dotted skirts, striped shirts, and neon colored leggings?

#43 Knock Knock

Ok, this one actually happened a few months ago, I just keep forgetting to put it up. And this may be one where the phrase "you woulda had to been there" may apply. Mainly because it was a conversation between Brecken and her little cousin, Jackson, whose voice alone is so cute you could record it and sell it (but you can't quite capture it just through writing).

Brecken: Jackson do you wanna hear a joke.

Jackson: MmmHmmm.

Brecken: Knock Knock.

Jackson: Whooth der?

Brecken: Microwave.

Jackson: Microwave who?

Brecken: Microwave Fridge.

Both: BAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!HAHAHA!!!

Jackson: (through much laughter) Now YATS a YOKE!!!

#42 Baby in Two Days

Brecken: I am so excited for the baby in your tummy to come!!

Me: Yep, but it's gonna take a while.

Brecken: How long?

Me: Well, six more months.

Brecken: (excitedly) That's not long at all!!

Me: Well, one month is thirty days...

Brecken: (concerned now) How long is six months??

Me: Well, six months is about 180 days.

Brecken: That's a long time!!!

Me: Well it takes a long time for the baby to grow big enough (cut off)

Brecken: (very urgently) Can I say a prayer???

Me: (when would I ever say no to that, really) Sure.

Brecken: Dear Heavenly Father, thankful for this day. Please bless the baby to grow fast. Please help it to grow big enough in two days. (and then she closed her prayer)

Aren't you so excited?? The baby is going to be here in two days!!!!!!

You know, that last few weeks of pregnancy I really wish it worked like that... but for now... I'm glad it's not up to the whim of a four year old.