Wednesday, November 28, 2012

#84 Ummm... Gross

When is it cute for a two year old to say, "Eese essa nass issa boogie," ? (Translation: something, something ...it's a boogie.)

After she comes up and does an odd sort of pat-swipe on your head.... And then about two hours after that--when you're done being grossed out.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

#83 Lately

We had in our possession a "Mr. Wonderful" doll. For those who don't know what that is, you push his hand and he says all kinds of wonderful things most wives only dream of hearing. For example, "The ball game isn't really that important. I'd rather spend time with you!" and so on and so forth.

He happens to be the same size and of similar make as a Cinderella doll we have. Taylor had been on a kick of playing with the two of them as sweet hearts (in a very cute and innocent four-year-old way). While observing her I found it odd that she kept referring to Cinderella as "Lately." For example she would say (in her man-ish voice), "Oh, Lately, I love your hair," and, "Your dress is so beautiful, Lately," and "Lately... Where are you Lately?" She's come up with odd names before so initially I chalked it up to that. Until she pressed the hand of Mr. Wonderful. She's done it dozens of times, and I've heard it before, but this time when I heard Mr. Wonderful say:

"Have I told you I love you lately?"

It all made sense.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

#82 A Few Weeks

Me: Taylor, can you bring me the wipes from your room?
Taylor: Yeah, hold on. In a few weeks.

Either she doesn't grasp the concept of time, or she's paying me back for all of my replies to her, "When are we going to Grandma's house?" and "When's my birthday?" and "When is Halloween?"
"In a few weeks," just isn't good enough.

#81 So Magic

While playing in the other room I overheard Brecken say to Taylor, "Heavenly Father can see me sharing this doll with you."
To which Taylor replied,"Awe man. I wish Jesus could."
"He can. They both can." Brecken responded
A short pause and then... "Wow. They're so magic."

So sweet. It's something like that Taylor.

#80 Whiles

Taylor: (randomly) Is six whiles long?
Me: (confused) What?
Taylor: Six whiles. Is it long?

How do I explain that I can say, "I'll be there in a minute," and "I'll be there in six minutes." And I can say, "I'll be there in a while," but I can't say, "I'll be there in six whiles."  ?

At that moment: I was at a loss. So if Taylor gives you a timeframe in "whiles" you'll know why.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

#79 Just Beautiful

My girls have always been fashion-oriented (only in the regard that they are opinionated... not savvy). One day I came out of my room, dressed in a shirt and a skirt. Taylor remarked, "I love your skirt, Mama. But why are you wearing that shirt?"

I replied, "Because I like it."

"You do?" pause... "Well... you look beautiful."

"Thank you!"

"Not very, very, very beautiful though," eyeing my shirt. "Just beautiful."

I don't think being called "beautiful" had ever felt like disapproval before... Only Sweet Taylor.

#78 Chubbaluck

For a while, our van had had the child safety lock on the doors. Every time we pulled into the garage it was the ritual for Brecken to shout "Child lock!" as a reminder for me to open the doors for them. One day, Brecken being absent, Taylor felt it was her turn to step up and fill big sister's shoes... Open garage door. Pull in van. Cue Taylor:

"Chubbaluck!"


#77 Not Our Baby

While seven-months-along I was one night tending a baby boy around one year old. Our girls were loving having a baby in the house and bursting with excitement by the time Russ got home from work. He walked through the door, began playing with baby boy, and Taylor became very serious.

"Daddy," she said very seriously. "Daddy," another long serious pause. "Daddy. This is not the baby in mommy's tummy. He's not ours. He is a different baby boy. Mommy still has a baby in her tummy." Her look and tone were so solemn Russ could only respond with a feigned serious, "Oh. He's not ours? Ok. Thank you Taylor." Her duty done, she now resumed squealing and smiling over the little baby boy. 

That could have been a terrible misunderstanding. Thanks Tay :)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

#76 Mashamee Opennwalla

While on a family excursion to Zion National Park we decided to bask under a large shade tree while the three girls played tag (a cute thing in and of itself). Not long after their game was under way, two children meandered over and began to watch them intently. Soon our girls came back to where we were sitting and the two strangers kept their gaze fixed on them. So, naturally, the assumption was that they wanted to join in the fun but lacked the invitation. Commence invitation:

My mom (did I mention she was there? She was): (very sweetly) Hello children, would you like to play with these girls?
Children: (Confused, blank stare)
My mom: Oh, do you not speak English? (not uncommon in Zion)
The older girl: (in broken English) No. Only a little.
Taylor: Mashamee opennwalla vimancholen blagadad?

Yes. Thank you Taylor. If you've ever wondered how difficult it might be to stifle laughter at something quite spontaneously funny in hopes that it doesn't translate into mockery, I can tell you: it's difficult. Especially when she continued on, "Mmleem mmlorasha mokeda?" I'm pretty sure she was going for Spanish. Yeah. Dora hasn't helped much.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

#75 It's Okay

One afternoon Taylor came strolling in, proudly displaying her latest artwork.

"Look, Mama!" she said, smiling.

Upon examining the permanent markered page, my enthusiasm didn't quite match hers. "Taylor!" I half sighed... the other half was... frustrated (seeing we had just been through this a week ago), "You're not supposed to use marker--it gets on the counter."

Her smile didn't fade, it only broadened. "No! It's okay! I didn't color it on the counter. I colored it on the piano bench!"    ...Oh, child.

Are you curious? I was. Yes. There is permanent marker on the piano bench. I can laugh about it now later.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

#74 Let's "Pretend"

I love hearing my kids play make-believe. I love it when their imaginations run wild and I get to be a silent observer to pure creativity.

Of course some make-believe sessions are a little... less creative. Those somehow strike a funny bone in me.

One afternoon—playing with friends—it's time to start parting ways. Moms round up kids and this is what I overhear Brecken saying:

Brecken: Abby, let's pretend we're humans (ok... check—they are, in actuality, humans). And we're friends (check again, so far, there is no pretending needed). And let's pretend that you have to leave (yes, this too is a reality). And I'm sad that you have to leave (I can't say positively, but I'm pretty sure this also is an actuality).
Abby: Ok. Bye, Brecken

Ah, what stunning imagination. Pretending that it is your scheme and not your parents' to be separated from your friends, is perhaps one of greatest products of creative imagination. It's a lot like the times Brecken says to me, "Mom, let's pretend you're the mom, and I'm the daughter, and I have to clean, and you're giving me jobs..." Yes, honey. Let's "pretend" :)

Thursday, May 17, 2012

#73 That's Nothin'

Have you ever heard Brian Regan's Me Monster routine? Ah, good times. It's funny to see it manifested, even in a three year old.

While sitting around the dinner table Brecken recounted the time her cousin had accidentally thrown a rock at her nose causing it to bleed. Not to be outdone by her older sister, Taylor began to relay her own tale:

"One time, I was outside, getting rocks, and Jordan," (the older brother of previous mentioned culprit), "picked up a huge rock," (Brecken's was just, "a rock,"), "and he threw it at me. It hit my face. And my head,"(Brecken's hit only her nose) "And my nose started to bleed. And my eyes started to bleed. And my whole head started to bleed, and all of my body started to bleed, and I was all the way covered with blood..." Yes... yes, how to end the grand finale??! "And I died!"

Yes, Taylor, your story was bigger than Brecken's. Death trumps bloody nose; you win :)

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

#72 Regular is Good

I love overhearing Brecken's conversation with friends when she doesn't know I am listening. Especially when it goes like this:

Friend: Guess what Brecken.
Brecken: What?
Friend: I know what I want to be when I grow up.
Brecken: You do? What is it?
Friend: A fashion model. I was wearing this belt to school the other day one of my mom's friends said, "You look like a little fashion model!" And I was wearing the shirt with the... (yada, yada), and my shoes that are... (etc. etc.)
Brecken: (in sincere amazement) Wow. That's sooo cool. I know what I want to be when I grow up too.

...Pause. I have never had this conversation before with Brecken. Until this moment I assumed she was ignorant that one could make plans that far distant. My curiosity was piqued. Immensely. A dozen glamorous professions that might interest Brecken passed though my mind as I waited for her to continue...

Brecken: Just a regular mom.

Regular is very good.

#71 Punishment: Death

Since Taylor can't seem to get our front door open, it wasn't a surprise to hear the doorbell ring soon after she went into the front yard. It wasn't even a surprise to hear it ring thirty times in succession. But when it took longer than fifteen seconds for me to reach the front door she began banging at it with all her might. And the surprise came when she was sobbing in my arms the second she stepped in. Through her sobs...

Taylor: Billy* said he was going to run me over with his bike!
Me: Oh, sweet heart I am sooo sorry.
Taylor: That was so rude. (still sobbing)
Me: I know, hon, are you ok?
Taylor: He's NINE! (adding this to his list of crimes)
Me: I'm sorry, Taylor.
Taylor: Billy is so rude.
Me: Ok.
Taylor: Can you go stop him?
Me: You want me to talk to him?
Taylor: Yeah, and tell him to not be rude? (sob sob)
Me: Ok.
Taylor: And then kill him? (sob)

I do not think that means what you think it means. At least, I hope that does not mean what you think it means. And: No. I did not kill Billy.

*Name has been changed ;)