Tuesday, October 27, 2009

#35 Punishments

This one needs no narrative. I'm sure anyone can guess under which circumstances the following statement took place:

"When I grow up. And I get married. And I'm a mommy. And I have a daughter. I will never give her punishments!"

I'll be checking back in twenty years :)

#34 Turning a New Leaf

It's a well known fact in the Harrington Household that little miss four year old does not like orange juice. So you can imagine my surprise when she asked for (and drank) a glass. I asked her about her newfound like for orange juice to which Russ said "Brecken, tell mommy that you're turning a new leaf." So of course Brecken, still being in the phase in which you say whatever someone tells you to say (you have to love this phase), obeyed... as best she could :)

"Mommy. I'm gonna turn you into a leaf!"

Hahahaha! I have to say though, I'm with Brecken. That makes about as much sense to me as turning a new leaf does :)

#33 Stronger and Smarter :)

On a regular basis Brecken says to me "Mom, I'm stronger than you." Now, most of the time I let it slide. But if she catches me when I'm feelin' a little prideful (stronger than a four year old is almost all I can claim these days) She gets a rebuttal. Which she did... And of course, with all such claims, I had to back it up.

How? Simple. We made a line. Each of us stood facing each other on either side of the line. We gripped hands. And on Brecken's cue, we pulled. If she crossed the line, I won. If I crossed the line, she won. muahahahaha.... stronger than me... right.

Not liking the out come of the first three rounds Brecken then made up her own rules...

Brecken: Ok mom. Now we hold hands, and when I say pull, we pull (makes sense so far). If I pull you over, I win. And if you pull me over, you lose. k?
Me: Wait, If I pull you over I lose?
Brecken: Yep. Ready?
Me: Wait. How do I win?
Brecken: Hmmmmm..... if you can (looks around the room. spots the couch ten feet behind her) get to the couch before one of us is pulled over... then you win.
Me: (gee that sounds fair) Ok, ready.
Brecken: Go!

Still feeling a LITTLE competitive I make a futile attempt at getting to the couch first. But as soon as my foot hit the ground crossing the line Brecken yelled:

"Ha! I pulled you over! I won! I'm stronger than you!!"

Oh, I laughed. And I don't worry. I told her she was stronger than me. I let her live it up (however rigged it was) But does the phrase "heads I win, tails you lose" come to mind here? :)

#32 Baby in my Tummy

I went into Brecken's room this morning while Brecken was sleeping and the following occured:

Brecken: (opening her eyes) Is it Sunday?
Me: Nope
Brecken: Why are you waking me up?
Me: We're just gonna clean your room this morning.
Brecken: I have a baby in my tummy.
Me: Oh you do huh?
Brecken: No, no, no, no. Not a real baby just pretend.
Me: Oooooh! A pretend baby.
Brecken then pulls back the covers and climbs out of bed...





Oh! I couldn't stop laughing. I'm still chuckling! She must have slept in that all night... How uncomfortable!!! But funny :)

#31 Ring a Bell?

I was in the Living Room while Brecken and Russ were in the kitchen and I overheard the following conversation :
After trying to jog Brecken's memory of who somebody was...
Russ: Does that ring a bell?
Brecken: Who's Ringabell?
Russ: No, ring a bell isn't a person, it's a saying.
Brecken: But who is Ringabell?
Russ: No, it means to remember. When I say "Does that ring a bell?" that means "Do you remember?"
Brecken: I don't remember Ringabell.
Russ: No, honey, ring a bell isn't a person. It means to remember.
Brecken: Oooooooh! I get it! Ringabell isn't a person. She's just pretend!

I'm pretty sure she didn't get it, but in her defense: Annabell, Isabell, Ringabell... I see her logic :)

#30 Three Year Olds + Stories = Misunderstandings

It is a ritual in the Harrington Household to have the traditional "Bedtime Story". Traditional is a relative term... It's not Goldilocks, or Red Riding Hood that puts her to sleep; but rather stories from when Russ and I were little. We take turns telling her tales from our childhood.

This one particular night was Russ's turn. He was recounting the time when he was a toe headed little tot getting a baseball signed by Mark McGwire (true story) I'll share an excerpt:

Russ: Have you ever seen Popeye?
Brecken: (enthralled, but clueless) No.
Russ: Well, he was like Popeye. His forearms were HUGE!
Brecken: (silent, wide-eyed amazement)

A few weeks later Brecken decided to recount to me dad's amazing story:

Brecken: One time, when daddy was a little boy, he saw a baseball player that had TEN ARMS!!!!!!
Me: Ten Arms? (I knew that wasn't part of the story)

After mulling it over while trying to think what could have mislead her... it hit me. Russ had said "his forearms were huge!" what Brecken heard: "his Four Arms were huge!".... And then of course she exaggerated (ten did sound cooler than four). Oh! The laughter. I couldn't help myself. It was too cute.

I tried to explain it to her, but I think she's convinced that there's some ten armed freak out there playing baseball... Ah, three year olds. Never a dull moment.


#29 Even Four Year Olds

If only we could slow time down—relive favorite memories—save time in a bottle. None of us is immune to an occasional pining over lost time, apparently not even four-year-olds... As Brecken must have been contemplating these very thoughts (maybe not in so many words) she had her chin on her hands at the counter and a far off look in her eyes as she stared into space... 
"I am getting so big..." (her fourth birthday must have hit her pretty hard). She let out a long, heavy sigh and continued in a melancholy voice, "If only I could be two years old again." another long heavy sigh... Ah yes... Two years old. Life was good then... Happier. Easier. Less complicated. I had to chuckle to myself thinking of how she wished to be two... if only she knew how good, and care free four is. I guess, if only we all knew how good we have it. 

#28 Root Beer Floats

Just before one of our Grantsville trips Brecken says to me "Oh! I am so excited to see Uncle Daniel!!!!!" followed by much squealing.

For those of you who know Brecken and know Daniel... this is big. Really big. She then continues "I used to not like Daniel very much. But then one day, he bought me a root beer float. And now it's all changed."

Yes. She's shallow. And I'm sorry Dan. Hopefully moving up to "favorite" status can make up for all the ill treatment. But smooth move on the root beer float.

#27 Still Believes in Magic

So we have this little bag of treats on the counter. And I'm sure you can imagine that it's a constant temptation to little miss four year old here (I know. put it up already). Every once in a while when she asks... I say yes. The following occurred on one such occasion...

Brecken: Haha!! Yes?? (reaches for the bag of candy but stops mid-candy-gettage) Wait Mom. Don't look at me.
Me: (right. like I'm going to follow such instructions) Why don't you want me to look at you?
Brecken: Just don't.
Me: (continued stare at Brecken)
Brecken: (nervous laughter) umm... Abra-Cadabra! (reaches, instead of into the bag, but into her pocket) Look mom! I'm magic! I made the candy go from the counter into my pocket!
Me: (poor little four year old... still believes in magic) Brecken. Did you get into the candy earlier and put one in your pocket?
Brecken: Huh-uh, I'm magic.
Me: Brecken, honey, you need to tell me the truth.
Brecken: I did. I'm magic.
Me: (a bit sternly at this point) Brecken, I'm going to give you one more chance to tell me the truth. Did you get into the candy and put one in your pocket?
Brecken: No. Didn't you hear me say abra-cadabra? I'm magic.
Me: Brecken. I know you are telling me a lie, and I'm very disappointed.
Brecken: (in complete astonishment) haha! You knew I was lying?? HOW? Are you magic??

I learned something that day: Apparently I am a little too convincing when I make the quarter disappear. It leaves one in no doubt that magic is real.

#26 Disneyland and Prayers

This was Brecken's dinner prayer one night...

"Dear Heavenly Father. I've never been to Disneyland. Could you tell my mom and dad that I would really like to go. I would love to see the princesses there. Could you please tell them to take me there?..."

And then she closed her prayer. No blessing on the food of course :) Ah the cutie.

#25 Invisible Prayer

One night after family prayer...

Brecken: Now it's time for my invisible prayer.
Russ: Your what prayer?
Brecken: My invisible prayer.

(going for individual here)

And a few weeks later...
Brecken: Now it's time for my invujial... my invadijal... my indijival... What kind of prayer is it?

We've since resorted to calling it Personal Prayer. :)

#24 There was an Old Lady...

For three or four nights Brecken had asked me to sing her the Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly song (it's a big hit around here). Then one night she said "I know how. I want to sing it"
This was her version:

I know and old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. I think she'll die.

I know and old lady who swallowed a spider. It wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.

I know and old lady who swallowed a bird how.... (pause)... (looking to me for the nod of approval) absurd... to swallow a bird. (clearly it this didn't make sense to her)

I know an old lady who swallowed a cat. Imagine that! to swallow a cat!

I know an old lady who swallowed a dog. How... (pause)... absog to swallow a dog.

I know an old lady who swallowed a... human... How.... absuman to swallow a human...

I know an old lady who swallowed a cow. How absow to swallow a cow.

I know an old lady who swallowed a horse. She died of course.

So she forgot a few words and improvised... I was pretty impressed... but mostly humored :)

***post edit***

Just to clear up any confusion: I do not sing that the old lady swallowed a human. That was strictly Brecken's version. That song would probably not have been a big hit with me had the old lady been a cannibal. Not that swallowing cats and dogs is much better... but still.

#23 What Four Year Olds Dream

After asking Brecken what woke her up in the middle of the night she said (on the verge of crying)

"I had a bad dream! I had a dream that I was at a campfire and some mean witches came, and they made us golden diamonds, well that wasn't bad, that was good, and they had band-aids on their backs, and they tried to pull them off, and then they flew away on their brooms, and then some ghosts came, and they only liked kids, and we were kids so they like us, but then we grew up and we weren't kids, so they didn't like us, and then they tried to kill us, so I woke up!"

I wish I could say I was the loving, sympathetic mother who hugged and comforted... But before I could do that I had to laugh. I couldn't help myself. And then of course the hugging and the comforting etc.

#22 Thringin' Things :)

The other day I had asked Brecken to put something on a shelf. She threw it up and it landed perfectly. With a little pride she said "I am such a good thringer!" Of course I had to question her. So I asked "A good what?" To which she replied so matter-of-factly "Thringer. You know. Throw. Things. I throw things. I'm a good thringer."

And of course all I could do was laugh. Her logic... I guess if we can combine words like is and not and get isn't, then why not throw and thing and get thring? Makes sense to me :)

#21 Pig Latin

While Russ, Brecken, and I sat on the couch I was trying to hint to Russ that I had a treat for Brecken. Trying being the key word- I made the mistake of using pig latin.

Me: You know... ife-lay aver-say
Russ: (blank, confused stare)
Me: Ife-lay aver-say
Russ: (still confused) What?
Brecken: You know, dad. The hard, round candies that have a hole in the middle.

I guess I can always bust out pig latin when I want to tell Brecken something I don't want Russ to know :).... oh well.

#19 Forty Friends

Back on her birthday Uncle Derek called Brecken. This is an excerpt from their conversation:

Derek: What are you doing for your birthday?
Brecken: I'm having a party.
Derek: A party? Cool. Who is coming over?
Brecken: My friends. There's forty of them.
Derek: Forty??
Brecken: Wait. Is forty a lot?
Derek: Yeah forty is a ton.
Brecken: Then there are forty. I have a ton of friends.

#20 What Makes Real Girls

Brecken: (to Taylor) You're such a funny boy!
Me: Brecken Taylor is a girl. You know that.
Brecken: Well, she will be a girl. Right now she's just pretending because she's really a boy.
Me: What? No, she is a girl.
Brecken: Well, she has boy hair. When she's older her hair will be longer and she can be a real girl.

No, I did not explain the real difference. Besides, when a stubborn four year old has made up her mind... there's no point in arguing.

#18 Tons of Money

Brecken has had a list of things she wants to do... swim lessons, ballet lessons, preschool (etc.) One day I was talking to her and said she probably couldn't do all of them. Of course she needed an explanation. So I told her that they all cost money and we couldn't do everything. After this she was quiet. Apparently she had been mulling it over all day because the first thing she said to Russ when he came home was:

"Dad, do you have tons of money?" Having no idea where this had come from he said "Tons of money?" To which she replied "Yeah. Tons of money. 'Cause I want to do everything. Ballet. Preschool. So do you have tons of money?"

Oh, funny girl.

#17 What Lay Grapenuts?

Today Brecken was eating grapenuts for breakfast and the following occured:

Brecken: Mom what lay grapenuts?
Me: What what grapenuts?
Brecken: No, what lain grapenuts? Lain
Me: What grapenuts?
Brecken: No, layed. What layed grapenuts?
Me: Do you mean: Who made grapenuts?
Brecken: No. What lay grapenuts?? LAY! What animal? Like chickens lay eggs. What animal lay grapenuts?
Me: (through lots of laughter) OH!!!!!! LAY!!!!!

And then of course I had some explaining to do. :) The mind of four year olds... too funny.

#16 Mustard

One night I absentmindedly put mustard on Brecken's plate with her corndog. She does not like mustard. She continued to whine and groan and play the end-of-the-world-card (you know three year olds) so I tried to reason with her...
Me: Brecken, why are you acting this way?
Brecken: (in a very whiny voice) Because I don't like mustard!
Me: Do you have to dip your corndog in the mustard?
Brecken: (hesitates) Well, no.
Me: (thinking I've made my point) Well then is it bothering you?
Brecken: Yes.
Me: How is it bothering you?
Brecken: It's... (glares at the mustard on her plate)... teasing me.

#15 Mr. Green Eyes

Brecken has been having a recurring nightmare about a "Mr. Green-eyes" as she calls him. Trying to get to the source of it all...

Me: Brecken where did Mr. Green-eyes come from?
Brecken: Meanland
Russ: (bursts into laughter)
Brecken: (giving him a cold stare) I'm serious dad. I'm not making this up.

**post edit** we've since watched the movie Bolt with Brecken and now realize where the green eyed man comes from... and it's not Meanland :)

#14 Eyelashes and Wishes

Me: Brecken, look! An eyelash on my finger! Do you want to make a wish and blow it off? (you've all heard of this right?)
Brecken: (as if reciting poetry) I wish that my heart would fly on the wind with the stars and go into the big blue ocean.
Me: (um.... ok....)
Brecken: (blows... waits ten seconds... gasps) My wish just came true!!

#13 What Means Minute?

Me: Ok, I'll be done in just a minute
Brecken: What means "a minute"?
Me: A minute is 60 seconds.
Brecken: What means "60"?
Me: It's a number. If you count to 60 that's how many seconds there are in a minute.
Brecken. What means "seconds"?
Me: Well... (how to explain to a three year old...yeah I don't know) I'll be done in a little bit
Brecken: What means "bit"?

hahaha... oh the questions never stop. Oh, and I know her question phrasing skills need tweaked a bit... We'll get to that later.

#12 Silver and Gold

Brecken: My favorite colors are: Pink. Purple. Gold (this is not news, she says this about 10 times a day)
Me: Wow. Those are pretty colors.
Brecken: What are your favorite colors?
Me: Hmmm.... I like blue... and silver.
Brecken: (somewhat disgusted) Silver?
Me: Yep.
Brecken: (offering me redemption) Do you like silver or gold?
Me: Silver.
Brecken: No, say gold. Do you like silver or gold?
Me: Silver.
Brecken: No, say gold. Do you like silver or gold?
Me: Silver.
Brecken: Say gold. Do you like silver or gold?
Me: (realizing this really isn't going to end until I concede) Gold.
Brecken: (in total surprise) Ha! You like gold??? So do I! You're just like me!

#10 Sittin' in a Tree

One night while Taylor was playing with a toy lamb...

Russ: Look how much she loves this little lamb.
Brecken. Ha ha! She loves it??
Russ: Yep. Isn't it cute?
Brecken: (to the tune of sittin in a tree... oh, come on you all know it) Taylor and the lamb sittin' in a tree. H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P.

Hahaha... I guess when you're in love, you practice the alphabet :)

#11 Faith

Brecken: Mom, what's faith?
Me: Faith is when you believe in Jesus Christ.
Brecken: I faith. I believe in Jesus Christ.

Wow. What a precious girl!

#9 Yes. Growing Too Fast

While I was making dinner one night Brecken wanted to see what I was stirring on the stove so she asked me to hold her. I told her I couldn't because I had to stir... and it was hot. She then said:

"I don't like being so small! I know. I know. I'm growing so fast. You can't believe it. But right now, I'm not big enough."

Poor little girl... She is growing too fast. And I can't believe it.

#8 Kind. Nice. Same thing.

"I'm making a tea party in my room!!! It has dolls, and animals, and necklaces... All NICE of things!"

Kind... Nice... What's the difference ? :)

#7 The Spirit was Willing...

One day Brecken was playing with Taylor when Taylor abruptly burst into tears. I quickly ran to Taylor, picked her up and asked Brecken what happened. She informed me that she had pinched Taylor. Needless to say I was shocked (one, that she had pinched her, and two, that she had told me she pinched her). After asking Brecken why she would do that she replied:

"Well. My body was saying I want to pinch her. My mind kept telling me that I shouldn't... but my whole body just wanted to. My mind kept saying no, but then my body just did it."

#6 Moms Know Everything. Dads... well...

Brecken: Mom, do you know everything?
Me: (tempted to say yes, but... I played it safe) No, not everything.
Brecken: How did you know I was in dad's office? (I had found her in there getting into stuff she wasn't supposed to)
Me: Well sometimes as you get bigger you just know more things.
Brecken: Does daddy know?
Me: Know what?
Brecken: Anything?

I love it. She wonders if I know everything, and wants to know if daddy knows anything. Those are the questions I ask myself sometimes (hahahaha)

#5 Let's Call This One... Vanity

Brecken: Mom, I am more beautiful than anyone.
Me: You are pretty hon, but it's not nice to say that you are prettier than other people.
Brecken: But I am.
Me: Well you are pretty, but let's not say that you are prettier than other people. Ok?
Brecken: Why?
Me: It's just not very nice. How would it make you feel if I said that I was prettier than you?
Brecken: Sad... but... I'm prettier than you.

Clearly self esteem is not going to be the problem with Brecken.

#4 I'm Big. You're Little.

While I was cleaning the shower one day Taylor started crying so I asked Brecken if she could go sing to her to help her stop crying (which normally they both love). This is what I overheard:

Taylor: (crying)
Brecken: (singing) Twinkle twinkle little star...
Taylor: (still crying)
Brecken: (in a stern voice) Look. I'm Brecken. You're Taylor. I'm your big sister. You're my little sister. You have to do what I say. You have to stop crying right now. I am tired of having to sing to you. Do you understand me??
Taylor: (silent)

Ok... So it really wasn't cute... per se... but it did make me laugh. I really hope this isn't a foreshadow of their relationship growing up... sigh...

#3 Sleeping with Mommy

One morning after Brecken had climbed into bed with us in the middle of the night...

Me: Brecken, what woke you up last night? Why did you come into bed with us?
Brecken: Oh. Color woke me up (Color is the name of the stuffed bear she sleeps with).
Me: Color did?
Brecken: Yeah he said (in a high pitched voice) "Brecken wake up. I want to go sleep with your mom and dad. Lets go." (and now in her own voice) So I had to come so Color wouldn't be scared.

#2 Mad at Myself

Brecken had just said something pretty angrily to me and realized she was about to get in trouble...

Brecken: (nervous laughter) No, no, no.... I wasn't talking to you, mom.
Me: You weren't?
Brecken: No, I was talking to me!
Me: (silent, yet unconvinced)
Brecken: (continuing on with the facade) Oh! Brecken! You just make me so mad! (punches forehead) Stop doing that!..... See I was talking to her... me.

#1 Christmas... Guy?

Brecken: (pointing to a toy cat) Mom, who gave me this cat?
Me: Santa Clause brought that for you.
Brecken: (smiling) Oh. I just love Santa. He's my best... (pause).... Christmas guy. (she must have decided friend wasn't quite the right word for Santa)

Oh, I love my Brecken!!