#92 Rock, Paper, Scissors

The girls have gotten into playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors" with me. Taylor plopped on the couch next to me and commenced a round (which usually lasts 15 or 20 games). It wasn't until round ten that I noticed she had played scissors—every time. I had to ask, "Taylor, are you choosing scissors every time?"

Nonchalantly she responded, "Yeah. Brecken said they're my lucky ones."

"Did Brecken win every time?"

She paused and said slowly, "Yeah..."

I then heard Brecken chuckling in the background. The kind of chuckle that says, "Oh yeah. I just manipulated my four-year-old sister into losing round after round of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors.' I. Am. Good."

#91 Our Own Tom Sawyer

Me: Alright, Brecken. Time to clean your bedroom.
Brecken: (in a complaining moan) Oh, man! (shoulders slump)
          (enter Taylor and Hallie)
Brecken: (happily now) Guess what, Taylor?! I get to clean our room!
Taylor: (suspiciously eyeing Brecken) Oh.
Brecken: (still enthusiastic) Hey, Hallie! Guess what I get to do? I get to clean our room!
          (Hallie and Taylor look at each other and scurry off... as do I)

Five minutes later...

Brecken: Nope, just one of you.
Taylor: Please, please me?
Hallie: I want to!!!
Brecken: Hmmmm.... let me think...
Taylor: I can do it the bestest ever!
Hallie: I want to!!!!
Brecken: Okay, I'll make a deal. You both can help me clean my room.
          (squeals of elation. From all three)

I've gotta give it to her, she's good. She is really good.

#90 Rollie-Pollies

All three girls love spring time, the blossoms, inviting weather, catching butterflies, and discovering lady bugs and rollie-pollies. The first of the season are especially exciting. I love their enthusiasm for it all. It's almost... magical. On such a spring day I watched and heard Hallie exclaim:

"Brecken! Tay! Look!!! A rollie-pollie!!!! Awe..."

(pause--crouch to admire)

*stomp* (Yes. On the rollie-pollie)

It's almost magical. If that would have been two-year old Brecken, or Little Tay-Rae, I would have been shocked--dumb-founded--in disbelief. But for some reason, watching Hallie obliterate the little rollie-pollie seemed... natural.

#89 The Phone Call

I called someone recently. I typically call her cell. Perhaps that is why the conversation went as it did when I dialed her landline.

small child: Hello?
Me: Hi, this is Serenity. Is your mom there?
small child: Yes.
Me: (after a small pause) Can I talk to her?
small child: No. She's upstairs.
Me: (after a myriad of thoughts and conjectures) Oh, can she not talk on the phone when she's upstairs?
small child: No, she can.
Me: Okay... Could you go get her?
small child: No. I can't.
Me: Oh, how come?
small child: The phone is stuck to the wall.
Me: (immediately enlightened) Oh! Okay. Well can you set the phone down and go and tell her I'm on the phone?
small child: Set the phone down?
Me: (encouragingly)  Uh-huh.
small child: (silence)  
Me: (silence)
*hang-up-click*

Landlines. Kids these days. The two don't mix well. I laughed. And then called her cell phone.

#88 Potato--Tomato

When Taylor was three she could not say, "Tomato." It came out every time, without fail, "Potato."

It was occasionally funny to hear her ask to get the "potato" out of her salad. And it brought a smile as she talked about dipping her grilled cheese in her red "potato" soup.

 But cutest of all was when she would quote MegaMind (which she did often):

"Oh, potato--potato--potato--potato!"

I still think of it. And it still brings a smile to my face :)

#87 Lip Gloss

Me: (walking into bedroom--Hallie on my dresser, admiring puckered lips in mirror) Hallie, what are you doing?
Hallie: (freezes) Nothing.
Me: What's on your lips?
Hallie: (examines mirror) Oh. Um... pff (chuckle) nothing.
Me: Hallie, I can see the lip gloss on your lips.
Hallie: (reexamines mirror and realizes it's obvious) Oh. Yeah. I got lip gloss because... my lips were cold. So... yeah. (in a serious tone) My lips were cold.

Despite the fact that she's gotten quite good at applying it (enlarging her lips by no more than a quarter inch) it's still a no-no. But if her lips are cold... I make exceptions. And then I laugh.

#86 Christmas Songs 2012

For those of you who remember  #69 The First Noel, I think I am seeing a trend: Christmas song lyrics. I don't know what it is about them, but they are high on the misinterpretation list:

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas:

Original: Oh, ho, the mistletoe--hung where you can see!
Harrington sung: Oh, ho, the mistletoe--Hungry as can be! (Both girls)

Angels We Have Heard On High:

Original: Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria! In excelsis Deo!
Harrington sung: Glo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ria! In a stable go-o. (Taylor)

Oh, Come, All Ye Faithful:

Original: Oh, come, all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant!
Harrington sung: Oh, come, all ye faithful, joyful and obnoxious! (Brecken)

Honestly I don't know where the last one came from. Two sizable words, both definitions unknown, same number of syllables: it could happen to anyone I guess.

Looking forward to 2013 :)

#85 Tacos

Why do I find the following conversation with my two-year-old so adorable? I don't know. Probably because she's two. And she has a cute voice. And none of these words came out the way the English language intended them. This is the translated version:

Hallie: I want dinner.
Me: What do you want to eat?
Hallie: Dinner.
Me: Do you want a taco?
Hallie:What's a taco?
Me: It's a tortilla, with meat, and cheese, and lettuce, and tomatoes, and--
Hallie: (cutting me off) I don't like tomatoes!
Me: Okay. You don't have to have tomatoes.
Hallie: Tomatoes are yucky.
Me: Okay.
Hallie: Brecken likes tomatoes?
Me: MmmHmm.
Hallie: And daddy?
Me: Yep. Do you want a taco?
Hallie: Olives?
Me: The olives are all gone.
Hallie: We have some more.
Me: Nope. We ate them all with our tacos already.
Hallie: Did I eat them?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Daddy?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Mama?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Brecken?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Tay?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: Dallie? (the neighbor girl across the street)
Me: No. Not Dallie.
Hallie: Oh (laugh and shoulder shrug). Just Daddy and Mama and Brecken and Tay and me?
Me: Yep.
Hallie: (another chuckle) Oh.
Me: Do you want a taco with meat and cheese?
Hallie: I don't want meat! I don't like it. It's yucky.
Me: Well, what do you want on it the taco?!
Hallie: Cheese and tomato.
Me: You don't like tomatoes!
Hallie: Yeah!

Yep. No killer punchline. Just the adorable essence of my sweet little two-year-old.

#84 Ummm... Gross

When is it cute for a two year old to say, "Eese essa nass issa boogie," ? (Translation: something, something ...it's a boogie.)

After she comes up and does an odd sort of pat-swipe on your head.... And then about two hours after that--when you're done being grossed out.

#83 Lately

We had in our possession a "Mr. Wonderful" doll. For those who don't know what that is, you push his hand and he says all kinds of wonderful things most wives only dream of hearing. For example, "The ball game isn't really that important. I'd rather spend time with you!" and so on and so forth.

He happens to be the same size and of similar make as a Cinderella doll we have. Taylor had been on a kick of playing with the two of them as sweet hearts (in a very cute and innocent four-year-old way). While observing her I found it odd that she kept referring to Cinderella as "Lately." For example she would say (in her man-ish voice), "Oh, Lately, I love your hair," and, "Your dress is so beautiful, Lately," and "Lately... Where are you Lately?" She's come up with odd names before so initially I chalked it up to that. Until she pressed the hand of Mr. Wonderful. She's done it dozens of times, and I've heard it before, but this time when I heard Mr. Wonderful say:

"Have I told you I love you lately?"

It all made sense.

#82 A Few Weeks

Me: Taylor, can you bring me the wipes from your room?
Taylor: Yeah, hold on. In a few weeks.

Either she doesn't grasp the concept of time, or she's paying me back for all of my replies to her, "When are we going to Grandma's house?" and "When's my birthday?" and "When is Halloween?"
"In a few weeks," just isn't good enough.

#81 So Magic

While playing in the other room I overheard Brecken say to Taylor, "Heavenly Father can see me sharing this doll with you."
To which Taylor replied,"Awe man. I wish Jesus could."
"He can. They both can." Brecken responded
A short pause and then... "Wow. They're so magic."

So sweet. It's something like that Taylor.

#80 Whiles

Taylor: (randomly) Is six whiles long?
Me: (confused) What?
Taylor: Six whiles. Is it long?

How do I explain that I can say, "I'll be there in a minute," and "I'll be there in six minutes." And I can say, "I'll be there in a while," but I can't say, "I'll be there in six whiles."  ?

At that moment: I was at a loss. So if Taylor gives you a timeframe in "whiles" you'll know why.

#79 Just Beautiful

My girls have always been fashion-oriented (only in the regard that they are opinionated... not savvy). One day I came out of my room, dressed in a shirt and a skirt. Taylor remarked, "I love your skirt, Mama. But why are you wearing that shirt?"

I replied, "Because I like it."

"You do?" pause... "Well... you look beautiful."

"Thank you!"

"Not very, very, very beautiful though," eyeing my shirt. "Just beautiful."

I don't think being called "beautiful" had ever felt like disapproval before... Only Sweet Taylor.

#78 Chubbaluck

For a while, our van had had the child safety lock on the doors. Every time we pulled into the garage it was the ritual for Brecken to shout "Child lock!" as a reminder for me to open the doors for them. One day, Brecken being absent, Taylor felt it was her turn to step up and fill big sister's shoes... Open garage door. Pull in van. Cue Taylor:

"Chubbaluck!"

#77 Not Our Baby

While seven-months-along I was one night tending a baby boy around one year old. Our girls were loving having a baby in the house and bursting with excitement by the time Russ got home from work. He walked through the door, began playing with baby boy, and Taylor became very serious.

"Daddy," she said very seriously. "Daddy," another long serious pause. "Daddy. This is not the baby in mommy's tummy. He's not ours. He is a different baby boy. Mommy still has a baby in her tummy." Her look and tone were so solemn Russ could only respond with a feigned serious, "Oh. He's not ours? Ok. Thank you Taylor." Her duty done, she now resumed squealing and smiling over the little baby boy. 

That could have been a terrible misunderstanding. Thanks Tay :)

#76 Mashamee Opennwalla

While on a family excursion to Zion National Park we decided to bask under a large shade tree while the three girls played tag (a cute thing in and of itself). Not long after their game was under way, two children meandered over and began to watch them intently. Soon our girls came back to where we were sitting and the two strangers kept their gaze fixed on them. So, naturally, the assumption was that they wanted to join in the fun but lacked the invitation. Commence invitation:

My mom (did I mention she was there? She was): (very sweetly) Hello children, would you like to play with these girls?

Children: (Confused, blank stare)

My mom: Oh, do you not speak English? (not uncommon in Zion)

The older girl: (in broken English) No. Only a little.

Taylor: Mashamee opennwalla vimancholen blagadad?

Yes. Thank you Taylor. If you've ever wondered how difficult it might be to stifle laughter at something quite spontaneously funny in hopes that it doesn't translate into mockery, I can tell you: it's difficult. Especially when she continued on, "Mmleem mmlorasha mokeda?" I'm pretty sure she was going for Spanish. Yeah. Dora hasn't helped much.

#75 It's Okay

One afternoon Taylor came strolling in, proudly displaying her latest artwork.

"Look, Mama!" she said, smiling.

Upon examining the permanent markered page, my enthusiasm didn't quite match hers. "Taylor!" I half sighed... the other half was... frustrated (seeing we had just been through this a week ago), "You're not supposed to use marker--it gets on the counter."

Her smile didn't fade, it only broadened. "No! It's okay! I didn't color it on the counter. I colored it on the piano bench!"    ...Oh, child.

Are you curious? I was. Yes. There is permanent marker on the piano bench. I can laugh about it now later.

#74 Let's "Pretend"

I love hearing my kids play make-believe. I love it when their imaginations run wild and I get to be a silent observer to pure creativity.

Of course some make-believe sessions are a little... less creative. Those somehow strike a funny bone in me.

One afternoon—playing with friends—it's time to start parting ways. Moms round up kids and this is what I overhear Brecken saying:

Brecken: Abby, let's pretend we're humans (ok... check—they are, in actuality, humans). And we're friends (check again, so far, there is no pretending needed). And let's pretend that you have to leave (yes, this too is a reality). And I'm sad that you have to leave (I can't say positively, but I'm pretty sure this also is an actuality).

Abby: Ok. Bye, Brecken

Ah, what stunning imagination. Pretending that it is your scheme and not your parents' to be separated from your friends, is perhaps one of greatest products of creative imagination. It's a lot like the times Brecken says to me, "Mom, let's pretend you're the mom, and I'm the daughter, and I have to clean, and you're giving me jobs..." Yes, honey. Let's "pretend" :)

#73 That's Nothin'

Have you ever heard Brian Regan's Me Monster routine? Ah, good times. It's funny to see it manifested, even in a three year old.

While sitting around the dinner table Brecken recounted the time her cousin had accidentally thrown a rock at her nose causing it to bleed. Not to be outdone by her older sister, Taylor began to relay her own tale:

"One time, I was outside, getting rocks, and Jordan," (the older brother of previous mentioned culprit), "picked up a huge rock," (Brecken's was just, "a rock,"), "and he threw it at me. It hit my face. And my head,"(Brecken's hit only her nose) "And my nose started to bleed. And my eyes started to bleed. And my whole head started to bleed, and all of my body started to bleed, and I was all the way covered with blood..." Yes... yes, how to end the grand finale??! "And I died!"

Yes, Taylor, your story was bigger than Brecken's. Death trumps bloody nose; you win :)